Flying Truisms

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The optimist
invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.

If helicopters are so safe, how come there are no vintage/classic
helicopter fly-ins

Death is just nature’s way of telling you to watch your airspeed or
rotor RPM -

Real planes use only a single stick to fly. This is why bulldozers &
helicopters — in that order — need two.”

There are only three things the copilot should ever say:
1. Nice landing, Sir.
2. I’ll buy the first round.
3. I’ll take the fat one.

As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you and one of them will.
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft knowing that it is your
last flight. b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft not knowing
that it is your last flight.

There are Rules and there are Laws. The Rules are made by men who think
that they know better how to fly your airplane than you. Laws (of
Physics) were made by the Great One. You can, and sometimes should,
suspend the Rules but you can never suspend the Laws.

About Rules: a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don’t have a
better idea and the talent to execute it. b. If you deviate from a
rule, it must be a flawless performance. (e.g., If you fly under a
bridge, don’t hit the bridge.)

The ideal pilot is the perfect blend of discipline and aggressiveness.

The medical profession is the natural enemy of the aviation profession.

Ever notice that the only experts who decree that the age of the pilot
is over are people who have never flown anything? Also, in spite of the
intensity of their feelings that the pilot’s day is over I know of no
expert who has volunteered to be a passenger in a non-piloted aircraft.

Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel
tanks are full!

He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he
that demands one iota more is a fool.

There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night.

The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by
that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely,
there are no limits.

Flying is a great way of life for men who want to feel like boys, but
not for those who still are.

Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

Forget all that stuff about lift, gravity, thrust and drag. An airplane
flies because of money. If God had meant man to fly, He’d have given him
more money.

If black boxes survive air crashes — why don’t they make the whole
plane out of that stuff?

“If the Wright brothers were alive today Wilber would have to fire
Orville to reduce costs.” President DELTA Airlines

In the Alaska bush I’d rather have a two hour bladder and three hours of
gas than vice versa.

It’s not that all airplane pilots are good-looking. Just that
good-looking people seem more capable of flying airplanes. Or so
seasoned observers contend. A matter of self-confidence? No doubt, no
doubt.

An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex
was safe

Airlines have really changed, now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

I’ve flown in both pilot seats, can someone tell me why the other one is
always occupied by an idiot?

Son, you’re going to have to make up your mind about growing up and
becoming a pilot. You can’t do both.

There are only two types of aircraft — fighters and targets.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are
composed entirely of lost airline baggage

You define a good flight by negatives: you didn’t get hijacked, you
didn’t crash, you didn’t throw up, you weren’t late, you weren’t
nauseated by the food. So you’re grateful.

You know they invented wheelbarrows to teach FAA inspectors to walk on
their hind legs.

New FAA Motto: We’re not happy till you’re not happy

All Y’all,

Experimental Aircraft Assoc (EAA) confirmed today that I’ll be presenting the “Rise and Fall of Flying Boats” at Oshkosh, WI, 2:30 – 3:45, July 31 and 11:30 – 12:45, August 2d. I’ll also be at the Author’s Corner, Saturday August first for a Flying Boats & Spies book signing. The other news is that OnStage will publish China Clipper in September.

http://www.eaaapps.org/presenterinfo.aspx?id=982

I hope to see some friendly faces in the crowd. Please stop by if you can, I’d love to see you there.

Cheers! Jamie

Military ROE by Service

No prizes for guessing correctly which service this comes from…

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a ’4.’
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover and concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention
to shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from ‘Higher’ to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.
2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.
3. Curse bitterly.
4. Curse bitterly.
5. Do not listen to 2nd LTs; they can get you killed.
6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what’s on HBO.
4. Ask ‘What is a gunfight?’
5. Request more funding from Congress with a ‘killer’ PowerPoint
presentation.
6. Wine & dine ‘key’ Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets ‘strategic’ and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.
10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict, but
close enough to have tax exemption.

(And I Love This Next One) Go Navy!

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

Cheers! Jamie

“Laughter is the language of the Gods.”
– Buddhist saying